just a college girl trying to figure out life...follow my adventures as the creator of a handmade accessories line ❤

Saturday, December 14, 2013

A semester full of the good, and the bad...

This semester has been hard. I anticipated it to be busy. I anticipated the change in educational institutions to be difficult. I anticipated the course load to require more studying than I'm used to. I even anticipated my new job to take its own toll on me and my time. What I didn't anticipate was everything else that life threw my way. This bog started to chronicle my experience trying to start a business, and I know a long the way it has strayed from time to time. This blog has been my venting medium for work, it's been my bragging space for my family and the accomplishments I've made in my person, and professional life. This blog has been my place for random ramblings, and of course, somewhere to share my love for my work as chelseaMADE, and school.

This semester has brought many good things, as well as bad. I've rediscovered my love for science. Something I was afraid I had lost after the scandal Tiffin University has put me and my fellow classmates through. But my courses this semester has brought me a new found appreciation for a subject that I've loved for so long.

I've been pushed by many influential people in my life to consider a future I thought would be far out of reach, and it pushed me to take it seriously. Whether my future lies in grad school, med school, or to be a happily married stay at home mom, at least now I have the courage to explore my options.

I've grown closer to my family and loved ones this year, and even though my schedule has kept me too busy to spend a lot of time with them, I still have grown closer none-the-less.

Sadly this semester/year has brought on things I wish I hadn't experienced.

 I saw the slow unraveling of a childhood friend blow up to reveal a person who would blackmail, lie, steal, and even throw her best friend under the bus. Having just finished Gossip Girl via Netflix, I'd say it was like a combination of the ugly side of Blair and Serena exploded into one. I'm sad to say I chose to lose a friend I've had since the sixth grade then support the person they had become.

One evening mid-semester I experienced something I never thought myself, or my loved ones would ever be involved in. There was a shooting in my apartment building that not only endangered the lives of many, but took away something I didn't even know I had been taking for granted. My feeling of security. Having spent several nights shuffling back and forth between my parents home and my aunt's after the incident when I'd be the only one home, I can at least say I am taking steps towards feeling normal again after everything. At least I can say I'm spending my first night alone in the apartment as I write this. I still jump at every door slam, I still get tense and quiet every time I can hear any of our neighbors in fear of a rerun of the most terrifying night of my life. But I know I can't try to get a normal life back without learning to get my independence back first.

So now that I've told you a little about my personal nightmare of the semester, I can tell you about my professional one.

Recently I have been going through the hassle of trying to figure out how to protect my company no matter how small it may be, its still something I've spent a great deal of time on, years in fact. Even before the blog started, there was a lot of trial and error trying to design a brand, a business name, and style I could be proud of. Due to the fact that there is still a lot of growing to do, and issues to figure out, I had not paid to license my business or brand name. Someone who had previously worked under a different name, chose to pay to license my business name, and through social media, it shows they knew about my business before they went public with the name change and officially licensing the name. As anyone who has aspirations of creating something their own, and developing a name for them self can imagine, it pains me to think someone else could care so little for all the work another human being had put towards something.

chelseaMADE is my love. No it's not as important as Vincenso, and it's not my family, but its something I could call my own. I am a very creative person at heart, but I chose to go with my interest in science for my education in hopes that it would lead to a more stable, and humble life style that would let me live closer to my family then an art, or design career path would have led me. chelseaMADE was my outlet to show my creative side to the world. Especially since I've had to sadly say good bye to my days in theatre due to scheduling conflicts, and a general need to move my life forward. This has been my only artistic outlet for a while now. I'm pained to say for now, I'm not sure what the future holds for chelseaMADE. Hopefully I'll be able to figure something out that will allow chelseaMADE to stay, chelseaMADE.

In the meantime, I have decided to explore starting a different blog that can just be a place to explore my thoughts, and my days, business aside. Please don't take this as me giving up on chelseaMADE, because I am not. I just think I need some time to figure out whats best for me and the business, and in the meantime, I would like the option to blog about my life whenever I choose, and I think when and if this blog returns full-force, it should be more about the business, and less about my venting grounds.

Once I choose a blog name I will post a link here so you may choose to follow if you'd like. That will most likely be my last post here for a while till I find a way to move chelseaMADE forward, without the issues this situation has brought on.

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